…But Will They Sell in the Blue States?

In case you were concerned about a pachyderm insurrection, the elephants want us to know that they come in peace:

By the way, an elephant can apparently recognize itself in a mirror, just like primates, people, and dolphins. Teaching an elephant to paint is thus infinitely cooler and more worthwhile than the following:

The ‘About This Video’ description at YouTube reads in part: ‘In Germany there is an academy which specialises in teaching cats and dogs to play the piano as well as teaching chickens to play a zylophone.’

And by academy they mean Greta the Bag Lady’s Farm? Does Letterman reject your Stupid Pet Tricks application if your house pet doesn’t have a degree? At first I found the idea of Animal Farm Music School really confusing, but now I realize that as soon as they teach the cow the tambourine, they’re going on tour. Step 3: Profit!

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