Talking Bobbleheads

It looks like Obama easily beat the spread in North Carolina, and the margin in Indiana is creeping close to the spread though not there yet. So far we can draw the following conclusions:

1) Lou Dobbs is afraid of black people. As much as Lou loves the white working class, his morbid fascination with and xenophobic reflex toward all the other ethnic groups that round out the lower tax brackets is pretty obvious. Which is to say, I find it highly amusing to watch him obsess over the fact that Obama took 91% of the black vote in North Carolina by repeatedly asking CNN’s team of analysts carefully-worded versions of the question, “Yes, but… isn’t that an awful lot of black people?”

2) Wolf Blitzer wishes he ran CTU. Wolf Blitzer is about as useless as tits on a bull, which is why we call him Wolf “Bulltits” Blitzer around my apartment. That said, I like to think that as he walks stiffly among
his labyrinth of LCD screens he’s imagining himself as the director of 24’s Counter Terrorist Unit, with Soledad O’Brien obviously playing Chloe. This daydream would at least explain Wolf’s wooden delivery. Because seriously, he’s the cable news equivalent of Ryan Seacrest. Except a bigger tool.

3) The Celtics are gonna beat Cleveland tonight. One of the many problems with political coverage on television is that following politics is a lot like a sport or a horse-race, except for when you sit down and watch it on TV. Imagine if instead of actually showing you the NBA playoffs, TNT could only show you the color commentators hanging out in the booth, with updates on the score once every fifteen minutes. The only time the number and intensity of elections overwhelms this mindnumbing style of coverage is in November. By contrast, we won’t have to wait nearly as long to watch the Celtics learn LeBron some manners.

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