Vote Better: Knuckleball

John McCain wants the American people to know just how much he loved Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.

John McCain wants America to know just how much he loved Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.

Well kids and cadets, the wheels have come off the cart.  McCain suspends his campaign?!  Wants to postpone Friday’s debate?? And here I thought I was going to blog about foreign policy this week.  Maybe I’ll get to that closer to the election when al-Qaeda releases an audio tape endorsing Barack Obama to scare up more McCain votes (because Republican foreign policy plays into al-Qaeda’s hands)… for now, let’s talk turkey. Or should I say chicken?

Matt Yglesias puts things right when he says:

WTF? You can’t just stop the presidential campaign — what does that even mean?

Meanwhile, I think walking and chewing gum at the same time is part of the president’s job.

I mean… really?  Really?  I don’t even know where to begin. Actually, I do.

McCain claims he wants the delay so he can focus on solving the financial crisis, leap tall buildings in a single bound, and build a flying car.  Meanwhile, he does not understand the economy by his own admission.  The Senate Majority Leader has released a statement telling McCain that this ‘bring presidential politics into a volatile economic crisis’ idea is unwanted and counterproductive.    McCain isn’t on the Joint Economic Committee so he has absolutely no jurisdiction on this. Ergo, going back to Washington will be a completely meaningless photo op and a self-righteous way of NOT preparing for Friday night’s debate.

Back in the real world, John McCain’s poll numbers are collapsing faster than the financial markets he helped deregulate. Oh, also, Obama offered to make a joint statement with McCain about the crisis and the need for shared principles and bipartisanship literally HOURS before McCain decided it was time to crusade into DC and dare Obama to be as leaderriffic as he.  Hey, I’ve got a great idea! If McCain really doesn’t want to debate Obama, why doesn’t he just hold a press conference, whip his dick out, and get to measuring? Now that’s what I call winning the news cycle.  Oh wait, that’s basically what he just did.

God, you know, sometimes I’m just so impressed by how strong and patriotic John McCain is.  I haven’t been this proud of my country since the last time I asked for an extension on a term paper.  Barack Obama is such a teacher’s pet, all, “Oh I’m ready to present on Friday.  What do you mean you’re going to be out sick? You sound fine right now.”

But honestly, even if the debate does happen as planned (and it should), I’m dumbfounded. After the Palin pick, I didn’t think I could be this shocked by McCain’s immaturity and recklessness again.  Can you imagine what kind of stunts he’ll be pulling in October?? I’m officially calling it the “Harry & Lloyd” strategy.

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