Def Policy Jam

"Senator, if you walk in slo-mo and beatbox every time you get off the plane we're going to be late to the rally."

Upright citizen Karl Rove has an opinion column in the Wall Street Journal, and the title today is “The First Debate Could Be Decisive.”  It’s the rare case where the Elephant Man and I are in agreement, and I couldn’t be happier about it. Then again my candidate hasn’t spent the last two weeks making a total asshat out of himself so that makes sense.

The subject of tomorrow night’s debate is ostensibly foreign policy, which is McCain’s strongest area*. But since the economy took that swift kick to the groin recently, and the economy is Obama’s strongest area, McCain’s worried that Obama’s gonna steal his time to shine. Just one of several reasons the yellow-bellied misanthrope is trying to postpone the debate until after the bailout legislation is complete.

Unfortunately for M.C. Cain, Obama knows how to freestyle, and a huge televised event is going to happen tomorrow night with or without the lily-livered slacker.  Even if McCain debates like an honorable competitor, his whole ‘I have to drop out of the debate for the good of the country’ excuse gets exposed as cowardly posturing, and he comes in looking weak on the night that’s supposed to be about his signature issue.  If he doesn’t debate, he seems out-of-touch and Barack gets a free night of primetime coverage getting to know the American people.

Basically McCain has committed a huge unforced error that he can’t recover from and it’s going to cast a pall over his first debate appearance no matter what he does.  He claimed to be ‘suspending his campaign’ but all of his TV ads are still airing and all of his campaign offices are still open. He’s giving speeches and doing interviews.  Yesterday he literally called a press conference and just said a bunch of dramatic shit that has no relationship with reality as a way of kicking dirt into the air right before everybody was going to sit down and think about the issues again.  Weird how a man of integrity like John McCain is constantly trying to distract attention away from substantive debate. Maybe he’ll try to avoid it forever and ever, but chances are he’ll debate tomorrow, and even if he doesn’t, when he finally agrees to do it, he’s going to get his ass handed to him.  And as Our Friend Karl was nice enough to point out, it could ultimately put a fork in him.

*Unless you are actually paying attention, in which case he’s EVEN CRAZIER THAN BUSH.

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